Neither Knew
by Yuuzami
Summary: Uruha x Aoi, Gazette fanfic. They should've just talked. One was too afraid, the other had given up. If they'd only talked maybe things could've worked out for them. That night had changed everything... for everyone...
1. Holding on and Giving Up

**Chapter 1**

**Aoi's POV**

_Damn I want to kill something. This has happened before but this time I REALLY want to kill something. Stupid feelings for stupid Uruha… god this sucks. If only there was some way to know what's going on in his freakin' head!!_

I stormed down the hallway; my long black jacket trailing behind me. I didn't care about anything except Uruha's answer. I needed to know. Despite how scared I was to ask, especially not knowing the outcome, I had to know.

Two weeks ago I'd subtly given Uruha an envelope with a letter in it. I'd spent a little over half an hour writing it. Yeah… I'd basically told him I liked him, that I had for a long time, that it was hard to tell him this face-to-face because I could never talk around him, and if he didn't feel the same way that I still wanted to be friends. Two weeks I'd been waiting for his answer. Just to see if he'd say anything or something between us would change. Two whole freakin' weeks!!

I was frustrated. I'd left him alone for two weeks… I figured that was enough time for him to figure things out for himself. It's been two days since then and I was tired of waiting. Especially now.

_Maybe I shouldn't have told him… damn, what's wrong with me?? Fuck this is so stupid!! We're not in freakin' high school anymore!!_

I slammed the studio door open. Ruki, Reita, Kai and Uruha were just talking. Rehearsal couldn't work that well without me there. They all turned to look at me but Uruha. He fiddled with his guitar and refused to look my way.

_Are you scared of me?! All I did was tell you how I felt!! The least you could do is tell me if you feel the same way!!!_

I stared right at him; frozen in the doorway.

"Na, Aoi… you okay?" Reita called to me. I didn't answer.

My eyes refused to pull away from him. It was like I wanted to yell at him, but seeing him there… almost scared of me… had stopped everything I'd planned to tell or ask him.

_What am I doing?! Damnit!! I should just pull him aside and talk!! Why can't I do this?! Why?!! WHY?!!!_

I brought my hand to my forehead. Great. I'd just given myself a headache.

"Aoi? Hello!!" Ruki shouted at me, trying to catch my attention.

I felt so embarrassed right then. My whole plan was dead, and I was standing there like a completely idiot. The truth was, deep down… I'd never be able to talk to him. No matter how much I wanted to… no matter how much I yearned to hear his answer… I couldn't do it. Why? It's really pathetic… but I'm scared of rejection.

I hadn't gone into details about my feelings in that letter. I didn't just like Uruha… I was in love with him. It was hard for me to even be in the same room with him when he hadn't known how I'd felt. Well now he did… and that was torturous. He knew… and wouldn't come to talk to me about it.

As I stood there, with my friends staring at me now with concern, I began to wonder if it was better this way. Maybe he couldn't answer me now. Maybe he never would. Could I live with that? A few minutes ago I couldn't have… now… yeah I could. I didn't have a choice.

Maybe Uruha loved me too. Maybe he was too scared to admit that… even to himself. He'd told me before he wasn't interested in having a relationship and yet I'd told him how I felt anyway. Deep down I'd hoped that he hadn't really meant that. But maybe it was true. Maybe he was ignoring me because of that. That wasn't exactly fair, but I'd live with it. I'd get over it eventually. Sure it'd be hell to go through it but I'd make it.

I sighed and walked towards my friends. As I neared, I picked my guitar up off the floor, slung it over my shoulders and smiled at them. I glanced at Uruha who was still avoiding my gaze, and then nodded at Ruki.

"Sorry… I just kind of blanked out. Let's practice."

We began right away. Just my luck, Ruki had decided we were going to practice Reila. I shrugged. Oh well… I had to get over it… and him. I looked at Uruha through the hair that hung in my face. He was playing his guitar with his eyes closed, as if trying to block out everything but the music we were all playing. Or was he just trying to block me out completely? I sighed and focused on my playing.

Not knowing how he felt or what he was thinking ticked me off. But if he wasn't ready to tell me I wouldn't force him. He'd come to me if he loved me in return. I strummed a loud chord and bit down on my bottom lip. How long would I wait? If someone came along that loved me… and I'd still not received an answer from Uruha… what would I do? But I already knew the answer to that… in my heart I always knew the answer to that.

I'd always wait for Uruha. He was worth waiting for and my love for him would most likely never die. Hell, standing only a few feet away from him right now was hard. I'd wanted to kiss him on numerous occasions, but I'd stopped myself. Maybe now I should just leave him alone. Maybe two weeks wasn't long enough for him. I'd wait.

_That's my promise to you Uruha_… I furiously blinked away my tears. _I'll wait for you…forever._

**Uruha's POV**

From the moment my band mate had flung the door open I was expecting him to yell and scream at me. Was I ever surprised. Sure, I'd ignored him even when I knew he was there but I was truly wishing he'd just turn around and leave.

He'd given me some pathetic "love" letter two weeks ago and after that he'd deserted me. I'd read it and at first I was thrilled. But then I couldn't find him anywhere, no matter how hard I tried, and I became furious.

I was pretty sure I was in love with him too. Even though he hadn't actually said it, I knew that's what he'd really meant. Or at least I thought that's what he meant. Seriously, why would he leave me alone for two weeks? I expected him to come and find me the next day to hear my thoughts. So I'd taken the day off rehearsals and just laid around my apartment for the day.

But of course, he didn't call, I didn't get an e-mail and my phone didn't have any missed messages or texts. I can not explain in words how pissed he made me.

What made matters worse was I couldn't find him anywhere. Had he been avoiding me for a reason? Why? What did he think I was going to say? Was he expecting rejection? If so, did he really think I was going to be that harsh with him? I don't know and now I don't care.

Both Reita and Ruki had tried to get his attention when he'd entered the studio. I knew he was looking at me; I could feel his eyes. Why didn't he say anything? God knows I wouldn't have said anything back but still…

What was he thinking when he saw me? I was mostly surprised that he'd even showed up. What was up with him? He avoids me for two weeks and then starts hanging around me again? Fuck him. I'm not dealing with that bullshit.

So now we're practicing Reila. Great song… But why do I always notice Aoi when we practice this particular song? Besides the obvious reason, (his guitar solo), why do I always see him? Even with my bloody eyes closed, I could see the way his body moves as he plays that music of his. At one time I thought it was beautiful. Now it's just poison.

I can see tears in his once gorgeous eyes. What's he crying for? It's not like he suffered for a week and a half wondering what he'd done wrong. If he'd truly loved me, why had he stayed away? That burned. But I only suffered for a week and a half before I'd given up on him.

Whatever. As I strum my guitar, I open my eyes and watch him continue playing. He's focused on his guitar now… I can't feel his eyes anymore. But oddly enough, I don't care. He's not talking to me and I'm not talking to him. I'll put on my happy face for my fans but that's it. I'm not participating in any more fanservice that concerns him. He had his chance… he'd told me how he really felt… and then he dropped me like a bowl of noodles. Too bad for him. I'll find someone who actually gives a damn about how I feel. I'm not waiting on some egotistical bastard that thinks he can walk all over me.

_Good-bye Aoi…_ I silently think to myself as I watch him play. _I'm through waiting for you…_


	2. Aoi's Pain

**Chapter 2**

**Reita's POV**

I knew something had been up. My thoughts had only been confirmed by that incident that had happened two days ago. Poor Aoi. I wonder if he knew that all of us could see the pain in his eyes? Nah… it's probably just me. Me and my all-too-observant eyes. Hahahaha… Ruki hates that about me.

I walked into Aoi's small apartment and saw what I'd been dreading. Ever since that one band practice he'd gone back into hiding. Two whole weeks he'd been like this and I'd had no idea what to make of it. As of two days ago… yeah… I figured it out pretty quick. Uruha was obviously the reason he'd been hiding from us. Now… something must have happened when he'd come to that practice.

I looked at Aoi, sleeping on his leather couch, with sheer pity. His apartment was a total wreck and I could clearly see the tear stains on his cheeks. I sighed, made my way over to him and gently shook him awake. Lazily he opened his bloodshot eyes and looked at me in surprise.

"What're…you…doing…here?" He mumbled pathetically forcing himself into a sitting position.

I sat down beside him a second later. "You look like the living dead."

"Thanks." He forced a smile. "But you didn't…answer…" He yawned and rubbed his eyes. Poor guy looked like he hadn't slept well in weeks.

"I know what's going on Aoi… actually I have an idea, but I don't know all the details." I explained watching his eyes widen ever-so-slightly. "All I know is you're depressed because of something that's happened between you and Uruha. That true?"

Aoi nodded. He leaned back against the couch cushions and stared up at the ceiling, avoiding my eyes.

"I want you to talk to me Aoi… you're a living disaster."

He closed his eyes and swallowed. I knew what he was going to say was going to be deep. I could feel his anxiety.

"Yeah… it's Uruha," his voice came out strained, "But I…can't…explain in words what's going on."

I was aware that he didn't want to talk, but if he did he'd feel better. Or so I hoped.

"Come on Aoi! You're dying inside! You're one of my closest friends and I-"

He suddenly stood up and glared at me fiercely. Then he started shouting.

**Uruha's POV**

_God damnit, what does he want?! _I looked up from tuning my guitar and saw Ruki. He smiled at me and sat down. Why'd he and Kai have to come to my stupid apartment? Lord knows I wanted them out…fast.

"So…what's up?" Ruki started casually.

_Argh… not another one of his pathetic attempts to get me to tell him something…_ I rolled my eyes and went back to tuning my guitar.

"Why do you care?" I snapped.

"Ouch…" He pretended to flinch. "That was cold."

"I don't give a fuck."

I was always the worst when it came to swearing. Too damn bad for them. If they didn't like it then they could get the hell away from me.

Ruki sighed this time. "You're angrier than usual Uruha. I know something's up."

"It's none of your damn business." I said flatly.

If he wanted to talk about my problems then I was out of there. I didn't care if it was my apartment. All of us usually hung out at Aoi's but ever since those two weeks where he fucking abandoned me, we'd all stopped.

"It became my business when you joined this band," he replied, "Now if you don't start spilling, I'm going to have to do something outrageous."

"Like what? Tear your clothes off and try to rape me?" I was pissed. He was bugging me.

"Damn… you saw straight through my plan!" He grinned. I didn't like the fact that he was trying to be nice. Why not just yell at me until I spilled?

"Uruha!!" Kai shouted from the too-damn-small kitchen. "You're out of Coca Cola again?!"

"What'd you expect?!" I called back. At least he was giving me a good excuse to ignore Ruki. "I don't need to get high all the time!!"

I heard Kai's laughter erupt from that room. I smiled easily. He seemed to have that effect on everyone; his laughter was contagious.

Ruki raised an eyebrow. "Well at least you're smiling…" He teased.

I sighed. "Listen Ruki, just get to the point and ask me the damn question, okay? I do have other things to do you know."

Ruki crossed his arms as if insulted. "Maybe I shouldn't ask then! Especially if you're 'so busy!'"

I did a very childish act and stuck my tongue out at him. "Grow up Ruki."

"You first."

God he was bugging the hell out of me.

"Uruha!!" Kai called out to me for the second time. "Where's your stash of cigarettes?!"

"Cupboard above the sink!" I replied. Why didn't he just look?

There was suddenly a crash of metal on the kitchen floor. Both of us heard Kai shriek.

"Why didn't you tell me it was packed??!!"

Ruki smiled and I laughed. "My bad! You know I'm lazy!" I apologized. Stupid, idiotic drummer. Oh well, at least it wasn't boring with him around.

Ruki waited a few minutes to see if Kai had any other pathetic questions to ask before turning to me and continuing his line of questioning.

"Alright fine. You want my real question then here it is… what's going on between you and Aoi?"

I tried not to laugh and bit my tongue inside my mouth. Ruki was just as blind as Kai when it came to these kinds of things. Reita had to have asked him to talk to me. There was NO way he'd figured this out by himself.

"Aoi?" I played dumb. I knew he'd fall for it eventually.

"Yeah, Aoi. You guys have a fight or something?"

"No. Why?"

"You guys don't hang out as much anymore and he seems really depressed about something…"

"Look," I interrupted, "Everyone handles life differently. Aoi might be dealing with some problems we don't know about, and if he won't tell us then we can't make him. I'm just letting him deal with it on his own."

Lame. That lie sucked. If Ruki had been smart enough to see it for what it was, he would've smacked me. But of course… without Reita, (literally his knew brain), he was really oblivious. Seriously, it took him over three years to realize that Reita had a thing for him… he's so blind.

He looked thoughtful and then nodded. "Yeah, I guess you'd know wouldn't you?"

"Duh." I replied.

Just then, Kai walked in holding some kind of wet, soggy paper thing. I hadn't the slightest clue what it was. Ruki spoke my thoughts for me.

"Kai…" He paused looking at the slightly saddened Kai. "…what the hell is that?"

Kai looked at me with apologetic eyes. "I didn't mean to do it." He explained pulling a hand through his hair nervously. "I'd turned on the sink and filled it up to wash my hands. I forgot it was on when I went to look for your smokes. I opened the cupboard and the whole pack fell right into the sink."

His words came out incredibly fast. But all of us were used to it by now so we understood everything. Ruki and I burst out laughing. Kai's eyes widened and he didn't seem to understand what was so funny. He actually thought he'd done something terrible.

I was thankful that Kai was there. If he hadn't been, I might have let something slip to Ruki. Yeah… the truth. Hell, Kai pretty much saved my ass. Hmmmm… maybe I'd have to buy him some Coca Cola to thank him. Nah. Wouldn't want him to get high.

**Aoi's POV**

"SHUT UP!!!!" I roared. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!!! JUST SHUT UP!!!!"

I covered my ears as if trying to block out my thoughts. I knew he was right. Of course he was. But I didn't want him to know that. Actually, I didn't want to believe it myself.

"SHUT UP!!!" I repeated at my full volume.

Reita just sat on the leather sofa staring at me. He didn't even look phased. Why should he? He'd seen me freak out on numerous occasions.

"Aoi…" I read his lips. "Calm down…"

Curse me for being able to do that. I forced my eyes shut and kept them that way. I fell to my knees and realized I was shaking. Was all of this really over Uruha?

I felt Reita's gentle touch on my shoulder. I pulled my hands off my ears and smacked his hand away roughly. He didn't even flinch.

"Come on Aoi," he began, "I'm just trying to help you-"

"I don't care." I spoke icily. "Leave me the hell alone."

"Not in this state… I don't think so."

I scoffed. "Look at you. You must think I'm so inferior to you."

"What? Aoi-"

"You and your boyfriend had it lucky. Everything just happened so easily for you. Sure it took long enough but you're happy aren't you? You don't have to lie awake at night and wonder if he's thinking about you. You don't cry when you're alone. No… your life's freakin' perfect!!"

He let my words flow. I didn't really mean that, did I? To some level… yeah I did. Reita'd had it SO easy compared to me. Ruki was blinder than someone without eyes but once Reita had explained his feelings properly, Ruki'd admitted he felt the same way and ever since then they'd been dating. Lucky jerks.

"Aoi…" He tried again. I didn't let him.

"Just go away Reita!!" I snapped. "Get out of my apartment!!!"

Reita remained; sitting beside me as I stood on the verge of tears. I wished he'd leave me alone so I could just cry. It felt good to cry. Almost like all my pain left in my salty tears until I saw Uruha again. Then I'd have new tears to cry.

"Okay… if that's what you really want Aoi, I'll go." I didn't stop him when he left my apartment. I didn't even watch him leave. All I could think about was Uruha.

I saw his face in my head and started sobbing. Burying my face in my hands, I cried and screamed crap that only made sense to me. Why didn't Uruha love me back? Why wouldn't he just say something and end all my torture? Why couldn't he just tell me he loved me? Why? Why…? Why is it always me that has to suffer?

I was done with suffering. I would end this all now. I feebly made my way into my lame excuse for a kitchen and opened the utensils drawer. I picked up the nearest steak knife and held it firmly in my hand. The pain my body would endure could never amount to the pain I felt inside. I took in a deep breath and brought the blade down fast.


	3. Aishiteru

**Chapter 3**

**Ruki's POV**

Kai and I were just chatting about, (as usual), random crap that came into our heads. Kai suddenly declared that he had to go to the bathroom and then ran for it. I laughed. Uruha was sitting in the corner of the living room, strumming Reila quietly on his guitar. I didn't get it. What was with his sudden obsession with that song? Even at our last practice that was all he wanted to play. Weirdo.

My cell phone rang and Filth in the Beauty echoed of the walls of Uruha's apartment. Uruha looked up at me briefly and then resumed playing as I answered.

"Ruki speaking."

"Na, Ruki it's me."

"Reita? Hey where are you?"

"I just left Aoi's apartment."

His voice seemed worried. "Yeah… and?"

"I think it would be better if I talked to you face-to-face. Where are you?"

"Uruha's apartment."

There was a long, silent pause. "Reita?"

"I'll be right over."

The phone clicked dead.

I replaced my cell to my pocket and then met Uruha's curious gaze. He looked at me but said nothing.

"Reita's coming over. You don't mind do you?"

As I expected he shrugged and went back to playing. I began to wonder what possibly could've happened at Aoi's apartment to make Reita sound so on-edge. I frowned. Maybe it had something to do with what Uruha had said earlier? Was Aoi going through something? What could be so bad?

It took Reita all of fifteen minutes to reach Uruha's apartment. He opened the door with no problem, since I'd unlocked it beforehand. He nodded at Uruha and then instantly came to me.

I got the feeling that what he wanted to talk about was pretty major and he didn't want Uruha or Kai to overhear.

"What happened?" I said with a hushed voice.

Reita stared at me for a few seconds and then glanced back at Uruha who seemed oblivious that we were trying to keep quiet.

"It has something to do with Uruha?" I asked puzzled.

Reita rolled his eyes. Crap. I'd been blinded again.

"What did he tell you Ruki?"

"Ummm… nothing important. Just that Aoi's going through some things but hasn't said anything to him."

"And you actually believed that lie?"

I cringed a little. "Yeah."

Reita sighed. "Well, whatever. The thing is…" He exhaled deeply. "Aoi lost it."

"Huh?"

"I was trying to figure out what was wrong, right? So he did end up telling me it involved Uruha, but as soon as we got to talking about it with any more detail, he lost it. He ended up screaming at me until I left his apartment."

"So what do we do now? Uruha's not going to say anything. Do you think Aoi's going to be okay?"

"No." He answered. "I honestly don't think it was a good idea that I left but he didn't want me there. I wasn't really sure what to do… I told him he's in no state to be alone, but he wouldn't listen."

"Do you think he could try to hurt himself?"

"Yes."

In those few seconds that we paused, we heard the front door slam. Both of us turned to see Uruha, but he was gone.

**Uruha's POV**

_What the hell's Reita's problem?! _I thought angrily as I ran down three flights of stairs without stopping. _Damnit! Aoi better be okay when I get there!! If he's not I'm going to have his head!!_

I didn't waste any time. I figured, screw my car. It would take a while for it to warm up and by that time, Aoi might've already done something stupid. I'd run. His apartment wasn't that far and I was a fast runner. I owed my soccer coaches for that.

I ran as fast as I could possibly go. Many people's heads turned in surprise to see me running down the street but I didn't particularly care. I had to get to Aoi. He was my best friend after all. Sure I had loved him once but that was a while ago. I didn't feel the same anymore. Or at least that's what I'd thought.

I buzzed his apartment number after leaping over the front entrance stairs. I pressed the buzzer once, twice and then three times. He wasn't picking up. This was all my fault wasn't it? Aoi was having some mental breakdown because of me!! _So he did end up telling me it involved Uruha, but as soon as we got to talking about it with any more detail, he lost it…_

Why had Reita just left him there? He should've stayed, despite what Aoi had said. Why did I feel the need to 'save' him? What was this panic I felt inside? I didn't care about him anymore. Hell, I hated him for what he'd done to me. Why was I in such a panicky mood?

He was refusing to answer the buzzer. Luckily for me, one of the other apartment inhabitants came out of the elevator and started heading in my direction. They stopped a few feet before the door and looked at me curiously.

"Could you open the door?!" I exclaimed. "Please! I have to get inside!!"

It was an elderly lady. God, she was ugly… but if she'd let me inside I'd give her a second chance. But she shook her head.

"No key, no entry." Her voice was raspy, even through the glass.

"No, no!!" I cried. "You don't understand! My friend lives here and I have to get to his apartment before-"

She shook her head and turned around, heading for the stairs.

"Wait!!!" I pressed my face to the cold glass. "Please!! You can't go! Wait!!" I slammed my hands against the glass. "Don't do this!!!"

My cries meant nothing to the old bag. The door shut behind her and she was gone. If she had been a fangirl of mine, I totally would've been let inside. Damn the old hag.

I leaned against the glass and closed my eyes. _Don't be dead…don't be dead…don't be dead…_I prayed. I could just see what I'd find if I couldn't get to him in time. I'd finally reach his apartment only to find him dead. Whether it be overdose or otherwise.

"Fuck!!!" I yelled backing away from the door. "Someone open the damn door!!!" I pressed on the buzzer for Aoi's apartment again and received no response. Things were not going my way. They hadn't been for over two weeks now.

"Hey, do you need in?"

I turned around to see a man in a suit coming up the front stairs towards me.

"Yes… if you could…"

"No problem." He smiled and unlocked the door.

He held it open for me; I waved at him and then bolted for the stairs. The elevator would take to damn long. I didn't know what floor it was currently on.

_Floor seven, right? Yeah…seven…seven…_ I climbed the stairs with in-human speed. My adrenaline was through the roof. My heart was beating uncontrollably and I was gasping for breath when I flung open the seventh floor door. I continued to push myself as I made my way down the hallway. Why'd he have to live so far down the damn hall?!!

"Oh…shit…" I panted, pushing on his apartment door. I was exhausted, but he had to be in there.

The door opened without a problem which told me that Aoi hadn't bothered to lock the door after Reita had left. Lucky me. I walked into his apartment.

"Aoi?!" I called out.

I heard muffled crying…in the kitchen. Cautiously, I silently followed the sounds of his crying into the kitchen. The sight I found was appalling.

"AOI??!!!!" I screamed.

Blood was everywhere. What had he done?!! He sat on his knees, tears streaming down his angel face, steak knife in hand, as blood poured from a severe cut on his right wrist. Blood was smeared all across his chest, on the floor around him and specks of it splattered his face. What had he done??

I dropped to my knees beside him. His warm blood clung to my exposed legs. He was shaking as he leaned up against the counter beside him. I sat there and stared at him in absolute horror.

"What did you do?!!!"

He was hysterical. "It's…all…my…fault…" He stammered, sobs welling up in his throat. "I'm…not…good…enough…I…don't…deserve…anything…right?"

"What're you talking about?!!"

"Everything…everyone…hates…me…I…could…stop…this…right…now…" He lifted the knife again and tried to stab himself.

Just inches before it pierced his flesh, I gripped his wrist tightly in my hand. I held it as hard as I possibly could. He tried pulling his arm down anyway, but it was impossible.

"Don't you dare say that!!" I yelled at him. He let the knife fall from his hands and onto the ground beside him. He closed his eyes and turned his face away from me.

"Why would you do this?!!" Reita's conversation with Ruki came to mind, but I needed to hear it from him.

"Because…" He choked and still refused to look at me. "…if…you…don't…love…me…then…there's…no…point…"

His words stung. I hated them. Why did I hate them? They were true weren't they? Of course they weren't. All this time I'd been mad at him because he hadn't come to me. I should've gone to him. Then maybe none of this would've happened.

"Aoi…" My voice was a lot softer now. I sighed. Then I did something I should've done a long time ago.

**Aoi's POV**

Uruha pressed his lips against mine. There was this rush inside me… like someone lighting off a whole bunch of fireworks. I had not expected this. Especially in the state I was in. I couldn't believe he didn't think I was pathetic.

At first his kiss was soft, but it became fiercer with each passing second. My heart was having a spazz attack. He tasted sweet. Probably because of that cute, pink-ish red lip balm he wears all the time. The weird thing was, all the pain I'd felt was gone. It was like someone had literally torn it out of me and replaced it with sheer joy.

Uruha's hands gripped the back of my head. He kissed harder, harder and harder… almost to the point where it hurt. But god did it feel good.

I didn't want him to stop. This was something I'd wanted for years now. Me losing blood had been pushed to the back of my mind. All I could focus on was Uruha's kiss. There was no way I could possibly breathe with him kissing me so hard. I opened my mouth and his tongue slipped inside. Holy crap was my heart about to burst. His tongue did little circles in my mouth and I let out a low groan.

Then it all stopped. His tongue left my mouth and he pulled away. I gasped for air and he was panting slightly. We stared at each other. His eyes were lit up in a way I'd never seen before. Unfortunately, his clothes were covered with my blood.

"We should get you cleaned up." He breathed.

I nodded slowly, exhaling heavily. He helped me up, his hand curled around my wound and led me to the bathroom. Within minutes, he had me bandaged up and cleaned. Well, aside from my clothes. I had to change.

I fumbled through my closet and pulled out my outfit from our Zetsu PV. I dressed quickly and then found him in the kitchen. He was wiping the floor with paper towel. That wasn't helping too much. I started to reach for the towels when he said,

"Don't! I'm already covered in blood. You just changed. I'll clean it up."

I was pleasantly surprised. He told me to go wait in the living room and I did so. I sat on the couch and looked over my bandaged wrist. He'd wrapped it up so carefully.

Ten minutes later, he came into the living room. He was still soaked with my blood. He laughed.

"I didn't happen to leave any of my clothes here, did I?"

I smiled at him. "Yeah… once. They're on top of my dresser."

He came back dressed in his outfit from our Cockroach PV. He sat down next to me on the leather couch and pulled me right against his chest. I closed my eyes contently and he stroked my hair.

"Never scare me like that again." He spoke.

"Sorry." I replied.

We were silent for who knows how long. I just couldn't believe what had happened. I'd tried to kill myself and then my Prince Charming had saved me. What a weird string of events. Whatever… I wasn't about to complain.

"Aishiteru…"

My eyes flew open and I looked at him.

"What?" He asked.

I blinked a few times and let that word register. I couldn't believe what he'd just said. It couldn't be real. Things were happening way too fast.

"What?" He repeated.

"Did you just-?"

"Yeah I did."

"Did you-?"

"Mean it?"

"Yeah…"

"Of course I did."

I sat there and continued to stare at him. Why was he telling me this now?

"I know it's kind of weird…" He admitted, pulling me close again. "But I think… after I saw you… like that, I knew I wouldn't be able to live without you. Sorry. I know it shouldn't have had to go that far but…"

I laughed. "You're a sadistic bastard!!"

He smiled. "Yeah… but I'm your sadistic bastard."

That thought made me pleased. It was true though. Even if, in some creepy way, me almost losing my life had woken him up to everything…I wasn't going to get mad at him for it. This was what I wanted all along right?

I glanced at the clock. How the heck had time passed so damn fast?! God it was getting late. No wonder I was starting to feel tired. Or maybe that was because of my blood loss? Eh, who cares?

My eye-lids shut a few minutes later. Just as I fell to sleep, I heard Uruha whisper it again…

"Aishiteru."


	4. Never Ending Love for Everyone!

**Chapter 4**

**Kai's POV**

Wow… had things ever turned around. Just yesterday, Uruha and Aoi were like totally ignoring each other and now they're totally… yuck!!!

Ugh, here they come…again. There they are, holding hands, Aoi's head is on Uruha's shoulder and they're all smiley. Gag. Whatever, it's not like they care what I think anyway. Why would they? If I haven't exploded on Ruki and Reita, why would I explode on them? I want to but…

Our band used to be just a family. All five of us were like brothers and now… sigh. Everything's changed. Our Friday nights spent together are obviously going to change too. I already don't hang out with Ruki and Reita on the weekends… but Uruha and Aoi too? I'm going to lose it… I swear.

"Hey Kai!" Uruha waves to me… still all smiley. God, I'd love to tell him to bite me. But I'm the funny, easy-going guy. I get along with everyone.

"Hey." I nod at both of them. Why are they all doing this to me? Sigh… life sucks.

"We ready to practice now guys?" Ruki asks us.

Everyone else agrees but me. I just shrug and go over to my drums. At least we still perform like we used to. At least that hasn't changed.

"So what're we practicing today?" Ruki asks, picking up a mike.

Before the two new lovers can say anything I yell out: "Best Friends!!!"

Lucky me…No one objected. We started playing, singing whatever… we were practicing. They didn't get it did they? I wanted to practice this to get a message to them just like Uruha and Aoi had to each other. I wasn't dumb. I knew they were secretly communicating. Did Reita ever ask my opinion on that? No. Of course not. He ran to his boyfriend who's dumber than a post seventy percent of the time.

"Yo!!! 'Sup guys?!!"

We stopped in mid-chorus. I groaned. What did Miyavi want now?

"Hey Miyavi!!" Everyone but me went to greet him. He's such a dork.

Miyavi started teasing Uruha and Aoi about their relationship and they were all laughing within seconds. I just sat at my drum set and watched. My band mates were all in love with another and I was alone. Sigh… well… at least I'm not gay.

A few seconds later, Miyavi danced, (and I mean literally danced), over to me and started talking a million miles a minute.

"Hey-Kai-what's-up? You-know-you're-pretty-cute. How-come-you-aren't-dating-anyone-yet? Do-you-want-to? Who? Hmmmm-what-about-me? That- sound-good-to-you? I'd-be-a-good-boyfriend-you-know!"

What did he just ask me?!!! My mouth fell open. The other guys were beaming at me from behind Miyavi. No way… they were in on this too? Damn idiots.

"Welllll?" Miyavi laughed like a high school guy. Sometimes that's what I thought he was.

"Uh…" I couldn't talk properly. I had to think some things through… fast.

Okay… Miyavi was cute. We got along. He'd kissed me before. We were good friends. I wasn't gay though. Was I? Nah… I wasn't. Wait, maybe I am? Crap. I'm thinking too hard. Let's just see what happens when I open my mouth…

"Okay fine!" I exclaimed.

Miyavi suddenly leaned across my drum set and hugged me. What the hell was wrong with him?! Wait… did I just agree to date him?!!!!! NOOOOO!!!

**Miyavi's POV**

"Yay!!" I shouted in Kai's ear. "I'll be good! I promise!!"

He kind of tried to resist me but I didn't care. Eventually he'd realize he liked me too. Then all of us would be one big happy family sort of thing!

"Get off me!" Kai playfully shoved me off him. "You're dirtying my drum set!"

The other guys all laughed while I giggled. He was so cute!!

I ran around his drum set and then kissed him on the cheek quickly. That was fun! Especially when his face went beat red!!!

I clapped my hands together all excited like. I was glad I'd finally asked him out. I figured, if Uruha and Aoi had finally gotten together, then I could do it!!! I glanced over my shoulder and sure enough, Aoi was attached to Uruha. Uruha flashed me a sexy grin. I mirrored back the same cutesy smile and tilted my head. I was finally amongst my buddies again!!! And this time I had a boyfriend!!! Yay!!

**Ruki's POV**

I couldn't stop smiling and laughing at the weird situation. Uruha and Aoi were together, I was dating my partner in crime, and now Miyavi and Kai were an item. I don't think I've ever seen Miyavi happier and Kai… hahahaha… he's going to fall for Miyavi hard. It's obvious that they get along well enough already. They're going to be one of the hottest couples in Japan. Well, aside from Reita and myself. Oh… and Uruha and Aoi.

Miyavi half-glomped Kai again and Kai almost fell off his seat. He finally relaxed and started laughing. There we go. Now things would be fine.

**Reita's POV**

Heh-heh… Miyavi. I'm glad Uruha talked to him last night. At least now Kai won't feel "left out" in our little love fest.

I kissed Ruki's nest and sucked it for a few seconds. When I pulled away, his eyes were all lit up. Oh yeah… we'd be having some serious sex tonight. I looked over at Uruha and Aoi and noticed they were already heading for the exit. Obviously the love was too much for them. They were probably going to get intimate now.

**Aoi's POV**

At first I didn't understand what Uruha meant when he'd whispered he 'had to have his share of love now.' I thought he was referring to Kai or something. Was I ever wrong!

As I lay beneath his naked, sweaty body I began to wonder if there was anything else I'd rather be doing. I could think of nothing. I had everything I wanted. A great job, great friends and an amazing boyfriend.

His member slid between my legs and I started moaning. He liked that… I could tell. Now this was what I'd been yearning for. This was a great way to pass time. At least now, if we ever got bored again, we'd have something entertaining to do.

**Uruha's POV**

Half an hour passed. That's how much endurance we both had until we were completely exhausted. He fell to sleep in my arms, with his wrapped around my neck. This was absolute heaven. I was glad I'd saved him from dying. I loved him and he loved me. How many times had we told each other that in the past thirty minutes? Who cares?! I have a beautiful boyfriend!!!

**Kai's POV**

Miyavi had me in a tight hold. Ruki and Reita weren't even paying attention to us anymore. They were to busy staring into each other's eyes. They waved good-bye to us a second later and then I was all alone with my crazy, (and now boyfriend), stalker.

He rubbed his head against mine and laughed quietly in my ear. Damn I actually became hard when he did that!!! Why'd the other guys have to leave me with him??!! Uruha and Aoi were obviously off having sex somewhere and that's no doubt what Ruki and Reita were heading off to go do. God they were such sluts!!!

"You didn't know I liked you, huh?" Miyavi crooned in my ear.

"Uh…I…uh…" I swallowed. If I thought I was hard before… I definitely was now. "…no."

Miyavi's tongue traced along my ear. I began incredibly still. Damn… my heart was pounding and I was becoming so hard it was starting to hurt!!! I'm not gay!!! I'm NOT!!!

"You like this… right Kai?"

"Hn…" I moaned as his hand made its way down to my crouch. "…I…"

"I like you Kai… a lot." He started playing with the zipper of my jeans.

Damn I hate being stuck in situations like this!!! There was no way he was going to make love to me!!! NO WAY!!!

We were naked within minutes.


End file.
